(:
god's child
she's bless
Hear ma prayer, Lord,
listen to ma cry fer mercy.
In da day of ma troubles i will call to you,
fer you will answer me.
no deeds can compare wid yours.
Heavenly father, i thank you fer all dat you've done.
we're all livin in a sea of superficial relationships.
her ;
` sher*
` 16oct'87*
` librians
` music*
` shopping spree*
` hightea*
` beach*
` wakeboard*
` chill*
` travelling*
` spending time with my loved ones*
inside;her ;
I am simple yet complex.
Ugly yet adorable.
Chatty yet attentive.
Gentle yet harsh.
Kind yet selfish.
Humble yet extraordinary.
Sociable yet reserved.
Daring yet cautious.
Life is full of ironies,
i've been one of them.
I have many friends,
yet I felt lonely in this city.
I have learned so much in school yet none apply in life.
Contradictions and ironies, terms invented by men to describe the complexities of life and also to describe me.
People that I had my love has never love me the way I did and the people who loved me never really had my fullest love.
I have never wanted to hurt but I had harmed more than one.
If you know me, you think you do, but no you know nothing, like I know nothing about you.
Wants
;
` love god all my life
` my gfs moments
` everlast green jacket
` new rollerblade
` happy family
ARCHIVES;
06/01/2004 - 07/01/2004;
09/01/2005 - 10/01/2005;
10/01/2005 - 11/01/2005;
11/01/2005 - 12/01/2005;
01/01/2006 - 02/01/2006;
02/01/2006 - 03/01/2006;
03/01/2006 - 04/01/2006;
05/01/2006 - 06/01/2006;
06/01/2006 - 07/01/2006;
12/01/2006 - 01/01/2007;
06/01/2009 - 07/01/2009;
04/01/2011 - 05/01/2011;
myrantings;
Sunday, June 25, 2006
learn to be contented.
Scribbled on!
Scribbled at 4:18 PM
Friday, June 23, 2006
I meant to blog last night, don't want to get my hopes too high though, it's worst to feel disappointed... when I actually mean what I say, and I probably would have typed with more passion, but I was just too tired, emotionally, physically to do anything other than have a relatively quiet night and go to bed.
now, go to bed..
Scribbled on!
Scribbled at 11:05 PM
Thursday, June 22, 2006
pride is at once the most powerful and most dangerous weapon a person can ever have. i struggle with it, we all do.
if i ever matter so much to u, would u even care if i was gone? it has struck me that the reason why i fought not to miss u. even if i dont stand chance. get this straight, i dont care what you take away from me anymore, because i dont need your presence.
im not gonna be amazing, but at least, hopefully, decent enough to run away from class after bullying him =) and i realized, that when i'm are running, those muscles that burn when you are walking stop hurting, thats the solution eh.
Scribbled on!
Scribbled at 9:05 PM
Tuesday, June 20, 2006
shalala....
juz accompanied him fer dinner. =))
heehe. i know it's just a dinner lah.
But.. ok, i am contented. his smile. awesome.
oh well i really wish life is always happy.
like ALWAYS HAPPY.
we have to be aware that not all that is happening is what it seems to be.
Scribbled on!
Scribbled at 12:58 AM
Monday, June 19, 2006
some days i feel like shit.
A break up is not about winning or losing, it has no victors.
It does not mean if you are the one who initiated a break up, you are the winner.
When your partner initiates a break up with you, you may beg your partner to give the relationship a second chance. I assure you that such pleadings only result in your partner losing much respect for you. When your boyfriend/girlfriend ends a relationship with you, the person is actually doing you a "favour" unknowingly.
So if your boyfriend/girlfriend decides to end a relationship with you, he/she is allowing you to move on to find a more suitable partner. If your partner is not even motivated to be with you, then dating him/her will be meaningless, full of obligations and a waste of time.You may have felt that your ex-partner was the right person for you. We tend to think our current partner is the one for us. But how can your ex-partner who initiated the break up be the right person for you if he/she has no interest in loving you? Breaking up allows you to find someone who fits you better. A Break up is NOT the end of the world.
"A break up is one step closer to finding your eventual partner that God has reserved for you"
Scribbled on!
Scribbled at 6:15 PM
Saturday, June 17, 2006
i had a nice afternooon run.
i had a nice chat wif u last night.
in fact the longest so far.
i wished i could tell somebody.
how it aches.
so hurtful it numbs.
when i looked to my side.
i see your face.
when i take on a journey in which many might not have been supportive of, every inches i move, it's all my will. the sands that caught up in my eyes, the soil that sticks to my shoe. that dragged me along as the wind go against as i head towards somewhere nobody else's would have gone. see people reaching there, yet i feel all alone. needed that much effort before i can reach there just like the others. where have the others gone? they'd turned and retreated. some, they reached. others, they backed. here i am, taking the journey where i know there's no return. in fact, i don't want to return. for i have seen, what others couldn't. for i have felt, what others failed to feel. i know where i'm going. but alone.
for it didn't matter.
if mine was torn apart.
the hold was tight.
my faith was strong.
that singular action.
altered the very course of life..
inevitably brokened many, many pieces of love.
i'd forgotten what pain felt.
no longer see silence was peace.
because it no longer matters
if hope was bleak.
when i turn back to see love. it never exist.
hey the one. are you reading this? heh. that's good. coz i've been waiting for you. where have you been all these while?! it hadn't been good having to be alone fer 3 years and to wake up everyday, hoping you'll appear.how have you been? feeling the same as me? you have been looking for me? sigh, i've been waiting for you.hold my hand can? yea, it feels right. you feel like safe right? heh. me too. no, i'm not gonna let you go. i will take care of you for the rest of your life.
hmm. so you like britney spears?
silence.what about boA? ring.oh fuck.
don't tell me i'm dreaming. fuck. i am dreaming!
ugh.fuck.
Scribbled on!
Scribbled at 1:14 PM
Friday, June 16, 2006
i can close my eyes to things that i dont wanna see, but i cant close my heart to things i dont wanna feel.
i'm glad i saw u last night, to see you smile again. hope u like the shirt thou.
went to school.went to work. slept. lol. sat in the car, fell asleep every 5 mins? haha. o well. forgive me.
I WANT TO MARRY YOU.
don't marry someone you can live with, marry someone you can't live without.?
how sweet. how true. but when we really sit back and look around us.
probably not many of us are lucky enough to do that.
we are, in fact, the most intelligent species on earth.
apparantly, we may be weak physically, but our intellectual capabilities far exceeds anything on earth.
our mental potential is so much wider that it may very well sum up to the extent of unlimitless.
are you sure you can live without someone? blah that's nonsense in our generation mister.
we can't live without ourselves.
now the quote: "marry someone you can live with" is much more appropriate isn't it?
sadly, we go through phases of life. the mainstream flows like this, primary school, secondary school, junior college/poly, university, work, work, work, work, work, work, retirement, work, dead.
every time we enter a new phase, our life changes. people around us changes. we no longer proceed in the same direction.
so sad, but true. the very nature that kept us so close together has forced us apart.
we're best friends in history.
i fucking hate the mainstream. that's why. call me an idiot or snoy. whatever you want to call me. call me a kid who refuses to grow up. Thank God for some amazing people that have crossed paths with me.
fine. i hate life. i hate the stupid procedures of a fucking life. it's stupid. plainly idiotic or snoyical. fuck man. life sucks. ughhh.i'm just complaining. bahhhh. i hate ppl with humongous ego. fcuk.
Scribbled on!
Scribbled at 10:59 PM
Wednesday, June 14, 2006
It is a common thing for many to play pretend.
Most people fake ignorance for a simple reason; they cannot face reality and they need to escape from it.
It is like the frog in the well analogy.
They only look from that fixed scope of life.
Nothing more because they refused to come out of it.
They refused to accept that there is something bigger than that.
A life much bigger than them.We all view life based on our experiences but how fair can it be?
We have not seen everything. In fact, we will never be able to go through EVERYTHING in life.
It is like playing a game of choices. You are given 2 choices in the first stage.
After you have made your choice, you might never be able to come across the choice that you have forsakened for the one you chose in the subsequent stages.
It is only fair for us to leave room for doubt.
We should give each and every thing the liberty to be something we have not came across.
It is only fair that we resist judging.
That is when we can truly see a person for the person he really is or a thing for a thing it really is.
The state of confusion only happens when we refuse to accept the person or thing just because we do not understand the rational or even simply for what it really is.
We cannot say something or someone is crazy just because we do not understand the theory behind it.
Most of the time people quarrel because they do not understand what each other is trying to say.
Each individual is trying to make the other understand his point but we often forget that listening and understanding each other is equally important for us to have effective communication.
There is no clear definition to many issues in life. Let us be liberal and give the benefit of the doubt to many incidents that will occur in our life. Probably by doing so, we can expect a much fuller understanding of life without having to force it to flow in our desired way of life.
Scribbled on!
Scribbled at 11:28 PM
Monday, June 12, 2006
you know that someone loves you when the person is willing to die for you
Why do relationships crumble ?
I'v been in two serious committed relationships and both fell apart quite dramatically. I realise my experiences turned out empty handed and very painful. I understand many couples say "I love you" very frequently to each other(I'm guilty of this too). Some even make lifetime commitment vows to each other. How often do such promises last the test of time ? I wish they really endure, then we'll have less break ups and divorce cases. I have learnt that relationships fall apart when two people refuse to love each other Sacrificially. Selfish behaviour constantly destroy the unity of a couple because intimacy and passionate love cannot thrive with immaturity or a lack of character. Wisdom and Romance must run parallel in a relationship for it to be God glorifying and Passionate. Some say "Love is blinding". Love should never be blinding.
Many a times, we choose who we want to date or hang out with based on outward attractions or for our own benefits. Sad to say, such relationships often come out empty-handed and painful like the ones I'v been through. I am not saying that exterior beauty is not important. It is a bonus.
However, the problem with dating based mainly on outward attributes is that it does not reveal to us the complete picture of a person. The outward attributes of a person is merely just the tip of the ice berg. Outward attractiveness will not be able to help us indicate whether the person is mature enough to love Unselfishly.The characteristics of a selfish partner.Partners who rely too much on their own outward attractiveness usually lack the ability to consider the needs of their partners. They tend to become so self-absorbed that to them, sacrifice means that their partner should give in to their wishes. This kind of attitude will ultimately cause a relationship to fall apart.
Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other.
Charm and Beauty cannot hold a couple together during tough times. Only Sacrificial Love for each other can hold a couple together.
Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last.
If you are dating based on exterior attributes alone, very likely you are setting yourself up for failure and disappointment. I setted myself up twice to know I don't want it happening to me again. God created Eve for Adam, likewise, I'm sure God has already created that special someone for you! In God's perfect timing will you find him/her. Very likely, that person will love you sacrificially. =))
i'm still waiting fer my right one thou. =))
btw,i had a great time over at pattaya.. my edhardy cap nearly flew off! and i left my versace leather belt on the rest bench, thank fully this kind soul shouted fer me.otherwise, i would cry out. the few hundreds gone. and i would get smack by Ron. thank god. he bought it back once again. i miss u boy' hope everythings is fine over UK. miss u once again.
Alright, now look at my bloody puffy eyes.
i didnt had any good slp ever since u return.
all thanks to u.
now, where could u find such beautiful cake in singapore?!!?!! i love each and everyone of it.
btw, i got the whole tray of chocolates the one on top of the red box. and ate it all up in the hotel. shallalaala,this shows why i'm still a fatty bom girl. =))
i'loved this experience so muchie!
i wished when i was up there with my loved'one.
hahaa.
the rainbow speed'boat =))
see! my gucci sunglasss! i'm showing it off.
shalalalaala.
aiight, i shall sign off with a hugeass narcissistic photo of myself.
i'm a contented girl! i'm a diva! BOMB!! *yay*
Scribbled on!
Scribbled at 5:49 PM
Tuesday, June 06, 2006
dragged once upon a time
some people believe in second chances.
some people believe that letting go of what was not meant to be would be the best thing to do.
some people cry because they are sad.
some people laugh because they find it stupid to cry.
some people need people around when they are weak.
some people likes to be alone because they need to clear their mind.
some people think some things are important.
some people think nothing can hold them down.
some people treasure. some people lost. some people hurt. some people heal. some people learn.
some people always make the mistakes. some people always hurt.
some people always.
if there were second chances.
if there was a time machine.
if there is a reason.i wouldn't have to stay here griefing.on the things i should have never done.
Scribbled on!
Scribbled at 5:42 PM
Saturday, June 03, 2006
i thought this was gonna be one of the best things that had to happen to me today, when you first told me it make me smile so hard because there was nothing i could have wanted more than this, and there was nothing that could have made me feel like the luckiest the way is that. but all i ever did was to get too caught up in my own life and to end up taking this chance for granted; and now that there is nothing i can do to change the way things were or will be, it has started to hurt. because you changed me and you taught me how to live and you gave me dreams. because you showed me the kind of person i wanted to grow up to be. because you brought something so big into my life. and because of you i saw what happiness meant. i just so much wanted the time could stop. i grieve in my condition for i cannot find the strength to say i need you so i missed the chance, the chance i said was too far away even though i would still have, never given up this for anything in the world. im sorry, i've missed.
all of the moments that already passed we'll try to go back and make them last all of the things we want each other to be
we never will be
till the next time my dear, and while you're out there getting where you're getting to i hope you know somebody loves you and wants the same things from you too.
i hope the days come easy and the moments pass slow and each road leads you where you want to go and if you're faced with the choice and you have to choose i hope you choose the one that means the most to you and if one door opens to another door closed i hope you keep on walking till you find the window if it's cold outside show the world the warmth of your smile but more than anything, more than anything my wish for you is that this life becomes all that you want it to your dreams stay big your worries stay small you never need to carry me more than you can hold
i hope you never look back but you never forget those laughter all the guys who love you and the place you left i hope you always forgive and you never regret and you help somebody every chance you get oh you find God's grace in every mistake and always give more than you take but more than anything yeah more than anything this is my wish i hope you know somebody loves you more than me may all your dreams stay big
*my wish to you rascal flatts ' bring me an ahmog back from UK.
Scribbled on!
Scribbled at 11:19 PM
Friday, June 02, 2006
if it comes, it will and i will accept it probably make it my last and only.
if it don't, i won't bother looking for it probably i will want to stay like this forever.
happy times never last.
it turns into memories.
pain lies in permanantly till it fades off slowly.
Ill cherish the time you have to offer,
No matter how little or much.
I'll wait for those tender moments,
Until then I'll dream of your touch.
Scribbled on!
Scribbled at 11:57 PM
Thursday, June 01, 2006
i was walking like a zombie out of my house at 4am dis morning when da other retards were waiting fer me outside my staircase. luckily i managed to escape from it or else i would have died or something who in da right mind runs at 4am?!!even worst i'm such a pig who needs min 7 hrs of slp while a farewell I guess.
we took blardy long to decided where to eat den waited super long before we got a place to sit and after eternity the food finally came..headed to JB later on.. it was a blast. I really enjoyed myself even though I’m dead shag.
da guys always save da day with their crazy antics and lame jokes plus da farewell cake was yummylicious!!! Secret Receipt cake there is damn cheap pls .delicious.
btw, i went crazy when I sat on alan’s sp. I swear we nearly met an accident. fuck, I was nearly into my grave.
I swear sitting on two wheels is never a good experience.
i wanna go UK with u guys...
i wanna scream...
i wanna play...
i wanna go crazy.insane.
I'll treasure the crossroad that we met,I'll remember the days that we spent,thou' this parting i'll be sad,but forever in my heart you guys would be kept.
Life would never be the same again.
God bless to all my Friends..I really thank God for friends stood by me no matter wat i did...
Scribbled on!
Scribbled at 11:18 PM
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